Food Fun

 

Indigestion is the failure to adjust a square meal to a round stomach.

 

Girls who eat a lot of sweets, Will soon develop larger seats.

 

“Dear, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but this steak is awfully tough I just can’t eat it,” he said. “Then give it to the dog,” she replied angrily. “I did,” he replied. “He won’t eat it either.”

 

I went to see my girl and she was crying. “What’s the matter?” I asked. “My dog ate the pie I baked for you,” she said, dabbing away a tear. “Don’t worry,” I said. “I’ll buy you a new dog.”

 

Her cooking’s improving. All the lumps in the mashed potatoes are the same size now.

 

“We are going to have mother for dinner.” “Make sure she’s well done.”

 

My wife isn’t such a good cook. We had people for dinner two weeks ago and they are still sitting there.

 

Son: “Okay mom! Today I’ll eat the cornflakes so I can build my body. Then we’ll see who can dare make me eat such a gross dish”.

 

Mistress: “Have you cleaned the fridge?” Maid: “Yes madam, the ice-cream was the most tasty among all the items”.

 

Customer: “I can’t eat such a rotten fish, call your manager.” Waiter: “It’s no use he won’t eat it either.”

 

Wife: “Do you feel like a cup of tea?” Husband: “Oh yes!” Wife: “I thought so, you look sloppy, wet and hot!”

 

An over-weight woman, who couldn’t help but raid the fridge between meals, decided to glue a picture of a shapely young woman to the inside of the fridge door. The reminder worked like magic. In one month she lost 5 kg. Unfortunately, during the same period her husband peered inside the fridge so many times he gained 10 kg.

 

Teacher: “Meena you were supposed to write a 2 page essay on milk, but you’ve only written a page.” Meena: “I wrote about condensed milk”.